


our love is these days piano

by kotosnoozy



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: (at least in the sense that QN aren't awful to Reiji anymore lmao), (if you think natsuki has """gemini syndrome""" rather than DID get out of here), Fix-It, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, discussions of trauma/triggers, discussions relating to Dissociative Identity Disorder, i love masquerade mirage and reinatsu way too much: the fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-11 07:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28467654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotosnoozy/pseuds/kotosnoozy
Summary: Contrasted with his bandmates, Natsuki is unassuming in Reiji's eyes - what are a few culinary mishaps and excessively powerful hugs in the face of the mountain of difficulties the rest of Starish are having?That is, until time and experience puts everyone on equal footing.That's when Natsuki starts to become aproblem.
Relationships: Kotobuki Reiji/Shinomiya Natsuki, background Jinguuji Ren/Kurosaki Ranmaru/Camus
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. a cloud of starlings

Natsuki seems unassuming at first, in comparison to his bandmates. Sweet, gentle and incredibly pretty, yes, but between Otoya and Cecil’s extreme naïveté, Masato, Tokiya and Ren’s tall, spiky walls, and Syo’s burgeoning egomania… Natsuki’s occasional baking mishaps and strong affections (emphasis on  _ strong _ ) are  _ much _ less troublesome. His shortcomings in the industry are all things that will develop naturally with time, Reiji knows from experience, and so there’s nothing to worry about, really.

There isn’t much to worry about from him for  _ years _ , in fact. Not until long after the Master Course program has ended, and Starish have started to work on equal footing with Quartet Night. Their former apprentices have developed in leaps and bounds, terrifying in their growth both as people and professionals, and it brings a tear to his eye to see. He’s most proud of his own work, of course - Otoya is now a masterful all-rounder, excelling in capturing the hearts of others with his honesty, flipping that naïveté from bane to boon, while Tokiya has shed any and all façades, living with himself honestly and every aspect of his career flourishing as a result. 

Cecil somehow comes away from Camus’s tutelage more level-headed and grounded (something that shocks them all coming from  _ Camus _ of all people), creating a true silver-tongued lyricist and picture-perfect prince, while Ai transforms Syo from a foolhardy wannabe idol into the genuine glittering article, excelling in every part of his career. Ranmaru somehow even manages to make functioning people of Ren and Masato, both stripped of their bitter streaks (and taking Ranmaru’s from him in turn), and both of them free of the shackles of their family fortunes. The change is reflected beautifully in Ren’s blossoming modelling career, embracing and exploring his androgyny, and Masato’s sellout stage-play performances, which enrapture all who see them.

It is also on the stage where Reiji first starts to see Natsuki become a  _ problem _ . 

Natsuki has become, as time has passed, less impulsive creatively. Ai has taught him how to hone a craft, working with his fixation tendencies to create fewer but perfectly polished gems from his work, rather than the more plentiful but haphazard products of his starting career. There’s a maturity now, in all that he does, that was certainly absent in years gone by. Yet the innocence remains in spades too. He’s truly a one of a kind idol. 

It’s no surprise to any of them, therefore, that he’s in high demand - his skillset is unique in their  _ industry _ , never mind their own company. Modelling agents and fashion designers snap him up for his delicate curls, long lashes and gentle mannerisms as much as they come to him for his towering stature, chiseled jaw and toned muscles. His echoing falsetto is equally suited to tragic ballads, eardrum-shattering rock and vibrant pop music alike, and it becomes apparent, after some time in therapy, that his years-long affair with the viola has not at all dulled his natural aptitude for the violin.

While he still struggles with  _ active  _ comedy, his natural almost-childlike wonder at the skills of his colleagues works hand in hand with his endearing clumsy streak and inclination not to take himself too seriously - he’d struggle to hold a candle to the rest of his group with stand-up or improv, but he’s just so damned  _ likeable _ that he manages to get through any comedy program with his reputation unscathed anyway. He’s become a dab-hand at interviews, he works well with the staff of every project he works on, and he picks up every new skill he tries with relative ease.

But acting. Oh, acting.

They’re grouped together for the first Shining Theatre Troupe - he, Natsuki, Ai and Tomochika - when the problem truly begins to arise. He, Natsuki and Tomochika play childhood friends attending a masquerade ball, with Tomo taking the roll of his younger sister. Ai plays a jewellery thief, skilled in disguise, who arrives and seduces her with his singing, stealing away a family heirloom from right under her nose.

It’s a solid enough concept, Reiji supposes. There are a few things that irk him somewhat. He’s not fond of playing a character with incestuous tones, and Shiny has once again shown a masterful  _ mis _ understanding of how to incorporate his employees real lives into his writing - he’s really incredibly lucky that Natsuki and Satsuki don’t take any offense at the terrible RPG-berserker-like attempts at incorporating Satsuki into the character of Sino. But overall, it’s a pretty solid concept, which he’s sure will stir the fans’ hearts and cause many different interpretations and theories online. He’s certainly glad he’s on this instead of the ninja show at any rate.

Tomo takes to her role like a duck to water, Reiji finding an instant camaraderie with her. They quickly find themselves wondering why they haven’t gotten to know each other better previously (even though he’s pretty sure they both know it’s due to their mutually packed schedules), and start to take their lunches together often. It’s like having another sister, he can’t help but think at times. One who actually takes the time to get to know him. That sort of sibling bond is one he’s desperately needed for a long time, and one his  _ blood _ sister has never really had any interest in filling.

Ai has some difficulty with his role initially. He’s not had to act romance before, and he’s told Reiji on multiple occasions that he doesn’t  _ truly _ understand the concept. He’s curious on an intellectual level, he says, but doesn’t have any desire to seek it out for himself. A couple of Quartet Night romance movie marathons is all it takes to solve that little acting issue - the four of them sprawl out under stacks of blankets and indulge in guilty favourites they’d never have previously admitted to liking before Starish had helped to soften their edges.

Camus shows them a series of obscure indie European films they’ve never heard of that have them all in floods of tears by the end of the night. Reiji’s turn brings musical after musical, Reiji himself recreating scene upon scene of  _ Singin’ in the Rain _ , and all four of them gleefully belting along to  _ Grease _ while ripping it to shreds. The final day brings Ranmaru’s choices and a surprising passion for American romcoms, which he staunchly defends the whole night despite no criticism directed their way. By the end of it, Ai has turned Einsatz into a heartthrob beyond compare. And if he still says that romance is decidedly  _ not _ for him, then Reiji isn’t one to judge. 

Then there’s Natsuki. 

Reiji and Natsuki, unlike Lazy and Sino, are  _ not _ childhood friends. Natsuki’s family isn’t one from high society, and he doesn’t know anyone in law enforcement, and while he has experience of the professionalism of violin concours of his childhood, this is his first time assuming a role so distant from his actual upbringing. In fact this is his first truly  _ serious _ role, or so Syo worriedly confides in him early on in rehearsals, and even though he has improved in leaps and bounds it’s a worry on all of their minds whether he will be able to perform the role exactly as intended. Their first group table read leaves them all a little worried, too - Natsuki knows his script by heart already, of course, but Reiji knows he can’t be the only one who thinks his intonation leaves a lot to be desired.

Their first full rehearsal, however, grants them their first real chance to  _ act. _

“You’re beautiful...”

Breathless. The tone catches him off-guard. Green eyes glisten as though what has caught their attention holds the secrets to the universe. 

Reiji feels something catch in the base of his throat, even as he starts to deliver his line.

“Hohoho! I thought you’d definitely cry out ‘You’re so cute!’ and squeeze her in a hug~”

He slaps the taller on the back, an ad-lib that he feels suits the playful Lazy well. Natsuki--  _ Sino’s _ eyes remain fixed upon Tomo, whose face portrays the same shock Reiji feels. Whether it’s the shock the script calls for or genuine surprise at Natsuki’s sudden improvement however, he cannot say.

“Well she- she looks  _ beautiful _ , and--” he dips his head in towards her, crowding her as though truly enraptured by her beauty. His voice falls hushed, almost gravelly. A tone he’s never heard from Natsuki before - one he’d bet  _ no one _ has heard from him before. He finds himself…  _ enraptured. _

“I should know you better than anyone here, but... maybe if I removed the mask, there would be a goddess lying in wait beneath it?”

There’s silence for a long minute. Tomo slowly turns as red as her hair, eyes wide as saucers. Her lines have seemingly abandoned her, caught off-guard as she is by whatever switch has flipped in Natsuki.

Reiji doesn’t notice her. He doesn’t notice the director’s confusion at Tomo’s silence. He doesn’t notice the murmurs of the ensemble cast around them as the three of them stand motionless. He can  _ just _ notice Ringo’s screeching from off stage, where he’s abandoned taking Ai’s measurements, but only because of the sheer  _ volume _ of the noises he’s making. He only has eyes for one thing; one  _ person.  _

There’s a mole just under Natsuki’s left ear. He’s never noticed it before. With the way his hair normally falls it’s covered, but leaning forward like this it’s slipped forward and there it is. A single mole.

His ears are pierced too. That makes sense he supposes. He’s been working as an idol for some time now. Modelling calls for jewellery shoots often. Especially so for those with more delicate features. Though were they pierced for work? He thinks he remembers seeing a flash of pink from beneath blonde locks at the last agency party. He hadn’t been paying attention at the time, really. He is now though.

He’s reassessing too. His features are delicate, yes. Pretty. Not really  _ feminine _ though. Not in the ways he’d previously thought. His cheeks are full and flushed (from the lights? Or just naturally rosey? He wants to know,  _ has  _ to know--), but his cheekbones are prominent and high. His nose is proud and straight, almost Roman in shape - a gene from his European heritage? - and his lips are chapped and pink. But no less kissabl--

He stops himself in his tracks. Time seems to start moving again. The director calls for a break.

Tomo grabs Natsuki’s hands and  _ gushes _ at him immediately (‘Where on  _ earth _ did that come from, holy  _ shit _ Natsuki you’ve been holding out on me!!’) as Ringo rushes over to heap praises on him too. If he looked over to Ai, he’s sure he’d see pride rolling off him in waves, or something like that. 

Instead he sees green. Impossible green. Vibrant almost  _ chartreuse  _ eyes beneath thick fluttering eyelashes. They glisten. As though looking at the secrets to the universe.

And they’re looking at  _ him. _

He knows his jaw is slack. He must resemble a tomato. It’s the longest he’s gone all day without saying anything. He should really say something,  _ anything _ , it must be  _ strange _ to see him so quiet, he’ll start to worry about him, start to wonder what he was thinking about, start to  _ suspect-- _

Natsuki smiles at him.

The world turns on its head. 

  
  
  


Natsuki had not been a problem.

Not until Reiji had realised,  _ far  _ too late, that Natsuki was, for all intents and purposes,  _ perfect _ . And he was powerless to stop it now.

No. Natsuki had  _ never  _ been a problem.

Not until Reiji realised he’d fallen for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was meant to be a super indulgent birthday present for myself but i missed the mark by a few days and somehow turned it into a multichap??? whoopsie
> 
> this is my first time writing something without having a perfectly crafted plan ahead of time so sorry if it ends up taking ages to finish - i'm just writing as and when i get ideas, and uploading whenever i have at least one chapter of backlog ready.
> 
> i can't really say what will be coming ahead other than??? as minimal conflict as possible and me pushing probably all my rarepairs (i can already for sure say renranmyu, syomasa, yamakiravan + on a slightly less rarepair front, tokioto and rinryuu). this is literally just a feel good fic for me to vibe with and to spit out some thoughts about my boys.
> 
> fic title is from My Trouble by Elbow who are an incredibly good band at the best of times but especially when it comes to capturing the feeling of love with music imo!! chapter title is from Starlings by the same band.
> 
> other than that, don't expect to see e*ichi here i can't stand him and uhhhhhh ai, nagi and shion are children i don't do romance for them anyway but for the record i hc ai as ace
> 
> if that all sounds copacetic then feel free to stick around ✌️


	2. good advice, sound advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranmaru’s not entirely sure when Reiji started trusting him enough to come to him for _love_ advice. He’s not really sure when Reiji felt truly comfortable enough with him, after how shittily he’d treated him, to consider him a _friend._

“If you like him that much then just bone him already.”

The pillow beans Ranmaru square in the face. Ren’s laughter doubles in intensity, even as the rocker whips it over into his chest and tries to push his feet from his lap - a punishment well deserved, for taking joy in his misfortune.

A low groan echoes from the mountain of duvets and pillows on the bed. The noise isn’t unlike that of a particularly disgruntled alley cat, Ranmaru finds himself thinking. 

“ _Some_ of us care enough about others feelings that we won’t just use them for a quick lay.” comes Reiji’s muffled grumbles. The plush mound flops to one side, frog-covered feet peeking out of the bottom and beating against the mattress in distress as he lets out _another_ melodramatic groan.

“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it,” coos Ren. “It worked for me _twice_ , didn’t it? And we’re pretty damned happy, I’d like to think.”

He accentuates his point by digging his toes into Ranmaru’s ribs. It’s instinct to try to deny it, but he manages to suppress the urge - what’s the point in lying when it’s so stupidly apparent he’s the happiest he’s ever been? He’s sure that if Reiji were to pull his head from his linen cocoon, the fondness he has for his present partner would be almost sickeningly apparent on his face - even if all he’s doing is swiping a piece of jerky from a packet that sits on the makeshift table of his stomach.

(‘What’s the point in having an oversized lapdog for a boyfriend if you can’t _also_ use them as a table?’ Ren had joked previously - Ranmaru had been initially reluctant to take him up on the offer, but when Camus started resting entire tea sets on him with no pushback, he figured a couple of lighter items might not be so bad)

“You guys are _animals_ though!! Nattsun’s like… he’s like... _stardust_ and _cotton candy_ woven together in a ball, he’s _gentle!!_ He deserves to be treated _carefully!!”_

“...You know he and his dad literally wrestle bears in the mountains for fun, right?”

“I mean gentle _personally,_ not _physically!!”_ says Reiji, finally whipping the covers from over his now-birdsnest hair for long enough to lob another pillow over in their general direction. It misses the settee entirely.

Ranmaru’s not entirely sure when Reiji started trusting him enough to come to him for _love_ advice. He’s not really sure when Reiji felt truly comfortable enough with him, after how shittily he’d treated him, to consider him a _friend_. He’s kind of honoured? Kind of nervous? But mainly confused. 

His main frames of reference for relationships are his parents (he barely remembers seeing them together before dad died), his high school friends and the girls they fought over (the less said the better) and… whatever this _thing_ is he has with Ren and Camus.

The latter of the three is definitely the healthiest example, but he can’t say that they’re not a little dysfunctional in and of themselves. The messy chains of seduction and jealousy that kickstarted their relationship are almost definitely _not_ how most relationships start (or so Masato had exasperatedly shouted at the three of them, vein in his forehead throbbing, after they’d told him they were going steady).

While he’s certainly happy with the arrangement he’s in (and he’s pretty sure Ren and Camus are too), he’s also _relatively_ certain the same kind of situation won’t work for Reiji. And, for all his melodrama, the goofball is right - Natsuki _does_ deserve better than a quick fuck and them both moving on with their lives.

When Reiji had practically assailed them in the corridor, dragging them into his room with a panicked look on his face, and confessed his plight to them (all of 20 minutes ago), Ranmaru really hadn’t known what to think. The combination had seemed strange. Reiji has crafted himself an image that exudes equal measures of good-humour and sensuality (loathe as he is to admit it) - a regular Casanova, at least on a surface level. Beneath that there’s a bullheadedness matched only by Ringo’s, and maybe his own if he’s being honest, and a squishy, fragile core that damages easily. Some deep-seated depression that he doesn’t quite understand, and doesn’t think he ever will no matter how much he’s now trying to.

Natsuki is… an enigma honestly.

What you see is what you get. At least, _most_ of the time anyway. Gentle yet excitable, and overflowing with affection for virtually _anyone_ . His willingness to befriend everyone is both his greatest ally and enemy in actually doing so, his forwardness working against him at times. Where Reiji’s emotions and biases show on his face, Natsuki shows a permanent smile to everyone at all times - even though time has shown them, via the presence of Satsuki and his violin-related trauma, that he is certainly _not_ happy all the time.

With the walking contradiction of Natsuki as the object of his affections, Ranmaru’s not sure he’d be able to advise Reiji how to proceed even if he _was_ better versed in romance. 

“Babe.”

He’s pulled from his reverie by Ren’s voice, as he swings his legs off his lap to sit up.

“Hm?”

“Stop thinking so hard, you look constipated.”

He feels his cheeks flush in annoyance as Ren smirks cheekily, pressing a kiss to his temple as he stands. He walks over to the bed where - _oh._ Reiji has managed to slide over the side and get himself wedged on his shoulders upside down, entangled in a cushion-y web of his own making. He really _must’ve_ been out of it to have missed that happening.

Ren yanks the bindings away from him and he falls forward onto the floor, sprawling and staying exactly where he lands. He continues with his guttural groaning as Ren very kindly makes his bed back up for him. 

“If it’s any consolation,” he says, fluffing an oversized pillow, “I think the two of you would make a wonderful combination. A guy like you is exactly what Natsuki needs, and I’m sure the others would agree with me.”

Reiji’s head turns, nose bridge red from where it’s been squashed against the carpet.

“Really?”  
  
“ _Really?”_ Ranmaru finds himself echoing.

They both throw him looks of exasperation.

“No, I don’t mean that as anythin’ bad against _you_ , I just-- I can’t picture it myself, y’know?”

Ren rolls his eyes.

“No offense, Ran, but it took you what, 5 years to realise you and Baron are like, painfully similar as people?”

Ranmaru clamours to deny it, but just ends up choking on his own spit. Ren turns back to Reiji.

“Shinomi might seem like a surface level guy, but he’s got a hidden depth to him. No one really takes him seriously, y’know? He always means well, and he tries his hardest, but people tend to dismiss him as simplistic - kind and happy and ditsy and nothing much else. But if you get him talking, he’s deeply intelligent - he’s so passionate about so many things, he feels _deeply_ and he _truly_ cares about people. The two of you are similar in a lot more ways than I think either of you realise.”

Reiji stares back at him, eyebrows furrowing as though deep in thought. As much as Ranmaru is happy Reiji came to him for advice, he’s even _happier_ that Ren happened to be with him. He’s _so_ much better at this than him.

“It helps that he thinks you’re cute too.”

Reiji squawks.

“He thinks _everyone’s_ cute!!”

Ren laughs, offering him a hand to help him up.

“You’re not wrong! But he only has a plushie of one of us~”

Reiji faux-glares at him, but takes the proffered hand. Ren yanks him up. 

“I think you’ve got a way bigger chance than you think. Shinomi’s a little hard to read at times, I’ll grant you. But he’s gentler with people when he likes them. Y’know, _really_ likes them.”

Reiji chews his lip. He swipes the packet of jerky from Ren’s other hand and steals the last piece ( _fuck,_ he’d been hoping Ren would save the last bit for him), balling the plastic wrap and launching it at the bin.

It’s at that moment that there’s a playful knock on the door.

“Come in!”

Blonde curls and long fluttering eyelashes peek around the door.

“Rei, you-- _oh!_ Ren, Ran! I didn’t know you were here!”

“Ah! Speak of the devil!” Ren declares, wrapping an arm around Reiji’s shoulders playfully as Natsuki steps into the room. Ranmaru struggles to suppress a bark of laughter at the flustered expression Reiji pulls.

“Oh! You were talking about me?”

“Mhm~ Buki here practically abducted us to sing your praises - I hear you’re adapting to your role in Masquerade Mirage _incredibly_ well?”

Natsuki’s eyes light up, practically _sparkling_ with joy, as he looks back and forth between Ren’s sly smirk and Reiji’s red cheeks. In that moment, Ranmaru can see it - the appeal in Natsuki, when he looks all glowy like that; how Reiji and Natsuki might be a good fit; and above all that it’s _incredibly_ doubtful that Reiji’s feelings are one-sided.

“Oh, do you _really_ think so Rei? I’m so honoured!!” he says, beaming so hard it looks _painful_ , hands clasped happily before him.

Reiji looks a little shell shocked. Ranmaru’s only seen him look like this once - the time they’d walked in on Ryuuya in the shower rooms, stripping down after rehearsing in costume for a Prince of Fighting scene. He’d looked like he’d seen the most beautiful thing in the whole world, until Ryuuya had knocked him out of it by throwing his shirt in his face and yelling at him to stop being a fanboy. But even that didn’t compare to the sheer awe on his face at the sight of Natsuki’s smile.

Ren not-so-subtly shoves him forward, snapping him out of it. He’s lucky that Natsuki’s not the most observant.

“Ah, y-yeah! You were _really_ good today Nattsun, leaps and bounds better than the table read the other week. You must’ve been working really hard!”

Natsuki looks ecstatic, nodding vigorously.

“I have, yes! I’m so glad someone noticed!! I really wasn’t happy at all with my performance that first day so I’ve been doing tons of research!!”

“Oh, Cam _did_ mention he was helpin’ you out with somethin’...” Ranmaru chips in, finally understanding his other partner’s recent vague comments.

“Yes, he’s been _loads_ of help!! Mr Kira’s been helping out too when Mr Myu’s been a bit too busy. I owe them a lot, I wouldn’t have been able to do it without them!!”

Ren laughs.

“I’m sure Baron’ll be happy to take payment in the form of another tea party. As for Gikki, mmm… I think sending a few pictures of the animals from your farm next time you’re back up there wouldn’t go amiss.”

“Right!” Natsuki says. He pulls his phone out quickly, probably making a note (a habit Syo and Ai have slowly managed to get him into, to help him with the worst parts of his scatter-brainedness).

“Ah, y-y’know Nattsun…” Reiji pipes up suddenly, as Natsuki slips his phone back into his pocket. The taller man’s attention is solely his in an instant and Ranmaru can’t help but notice the slouch of his shoulders stiffen nervously under his gaze.

“If you need help practicing or anything, I’m happy to lend a hand! Our characters are childhood friends and all, so it’d probably be a good idea for us to get a few sessions in together at some point either way.”

When asked later on (by Otoya and Ringo and Van and Nagi when Syo and Ren hurriedly form a ‘#LemonBoysSupportGroup’ group chat later that night), he describes Natsuki’s expression like this: ‘He looked as though Reiji had handed him the entire world.’ And honestly there’s no other way to explain it. He’s genuinely breathless for a second, before his face slowly splits into a renewed 1000 watt smile.

“Yes!!! Yes, of course!! I’d _love_ to practice with you, Rei, that’d be _wonderful!!”_

And then he surges forward, crossing the distance between them in just two steps, and goes to crush him in a hug-- and stops himself mid-motion. Just for a second. Just enough to take note of the slight look of terror on Reiji’s face - the look of a man who’s heard of, but not _experienced_ , the pain of a hug from Natsuki. Syo and Ai, Ranmaru knows, have been trying to remind him to be careful when he hugs people, to take it a little slower, to be gentler if he’s not sure the other person can take the full force of his strength.

They confirm for him later that this is actually the first time they’ve ever heard of him _following_ that advice. And, well, isn’t _that_ something.

After the moment’s hesitation, Natsuki stoops down a little. He winds his arms under Reiji’s, around his torso, and in the process tucks the shorter man’s head in the crook of his neck. His face winds up buried in soft brown tresses, and he lets out a soft, bashful, _elated_ giggle. 

Ren shoots him a look around Reiji’s back - eyebrows raised, lips slightly parted in shock, ‘holy _shit_ Ran, have you _seen_ this shit’ - as Reiji himself slowly winds his arms up around Natsuki’s shoulders and pulls him closer, giggling himself.

“Great, that’s great!” He says softly, “I’m looking forward to it.” His tone is the tenderest Ranmaru’s ever heard it. He feels like he’s looking in on some deep intimate moment, and it’s honestly a little awkward. It’s like they’ve forgotten he and Ren are even here.

Fortunately Ren’s _great_ at destroying moments. He likes to brag that he has a natural talent for it, even.

“He’s not asking you to marry him y’know Shinomi~” he coos.

It works a treat - perhaps _too_ well. The pair are instantly beet red and spluttering, and tripping over their own feet to back away from each other, and Reiji’s flapping and Natsuki’s gesticulating wildly and-

_‘Oh, no, of course not! I mean he would never-- I would never even dream he’d do that, honestly Ren! Oh gosh--’_

_‘Hahaha, RenRen you’re so crazy, I wouldn’t ask Nattsun that--!! I mean, not that he’s not just absolutely wonderful, anyone would be lucky to have him-- I mean--’._

It’d be quite cute, if it wasn’t so pathetic.

“Hey, Natsuki, what’d you come here for in the first place anyway?”

They both stop in their tracks, the bone Ranmaru’s thrown them doing wonders to calm them down (if not cool their cheeks). He can practically see the gears turning in their minds, before Natsuki lets out a soft ‘Oh!’. He carefully pulls off his huge pink backpack, gently moving a dangling hamster plushie out of the way to unzip it. He takes a minute or two to carefully rifle through the inner pockets - just enough time for Ren to calm himself down from giggling at the chaos he’s sown - before he brings his hand back out, fist clenched around a small object.

“Here.” he says, holding it out to Reiji. He looks at it, confused, but holds his hand out anyway. Natsuki delicately places the item in his outstretched palm.

“ _Ah!! Piyo-chan!!”_ he exclaims, somehow both panicked and relieved at the same time. “How did you-- I didn’t realise I’d dropped him!!”

“I think he must’ve gotten caught in the door when you left - you were in such a rush, you must not have noticed!”

“A-ah, yeah, I was pretty fully booked today. I had a show with Yams and Cesshi after lunch.” he says, bashfully. He might fool Natsuki but Ranmaru _knows_ that awkward stammer, the refusal to look the other in the eye (even if he is also inspecting the broken chain of the keychain) - his packed schedule might have contributed to his hurried exit, but he’d hazard a guess that his gay little panic made up a bigger percentage of the reason.

“Mhm, Ai said you’ve been busy recently. I didn’t want to just leave the poor little guy though, so I held onto him for you. It would’ve been sad if you’d noticed too late and then our rehearsal location got changed!”

Reiji huffs a little laugh, rubbing the metal of the little circus bird between his thumb and fingers.

“Yeah, I would’ve been devastated if I’d lost him. Thanks, Nattsun. It means a lot, really.” 

His nerves seem to have vanished in the face of Natsuki’s genuine kindness (Ranmaru _really_ doesn’t get how Reiji’s brain works, but at least this whole thing is less painful to watch now). He smiles, toothy and wide - a true smile from the heart, unlike his well-practiced almost-smirk that makes the fans go wild. It’s lopsided, and goofy looking, and it shows off a lot of his gums in a way Ranmaru _knows_ he’s self-conscious about. But it’s dimply, and his eyes go all soft and it makes you want to squish his cheeks like a hamster.

Reiji really isn’t the biggest fan of his own looks, and he has _terrible_ self-esteem issues, but if Natsuki’s rosy cheeks are anything to go by then he has absolutely _nothing_ to worry about with his crush.

“Of _course!!”_ Natsuki says, just a little too squeaky. His eyes flick over Reiji’s shoulders to see Ren, and then over to Ranmaru, and Ranmaru can see the exact moment he realises, from their twin Cheshire Cat grins, that the gig is up. He bites his lip, trying to hold back what he’s sure would be an incredibly smitten smile. 

“I’m, um. I’m glad I managed to get him back to you in one piece. It wouldn’t be right for Piyo-chan to be all alone out there.”

“Damn straight!” Reiji chuckles. “You’re a good guy, Nattsun.”

He reaches up and ruffles the golden locks fondly. Natsuki can’t contain his happy giggles any longer, even as he half-heartedly tries to bat the hand away.

“Are you guys coming over to the Starish apartment for dinner?” he says, when Reiji finally releases him. “I think we’re doing a hotpot with some of Tokiya’s veggies.”

“Ooo, hell yeah!” Reiji exclaims. “I’ll message Masa and see if he wants a hand with the prep. RanRan, you in?”

“Meat?”

It’s Ren who launches a pillow at him this time. He’s not as good a shot as Reiji though - it falls short and knocks a magazine off the coffee table.

“What, it’s a reasonable question ain’t it?”

Natsuki laughs.

“I’m sure he’ll be happy to throw some in if he knows _you’re_ coming!”

“Sweet. I’ll message Cam ‘n Ai ‘n tell ‘em to let you know.”

“Great!” Natsuki says, clapping his hands joyfully. “I’ll go and let him know - might have to run to the store if we don’t have any pork in.”

He shoulders his bag, and wiggles his fingers at them in a wave as he heads for the door. He pauses at the threshold, his smile softening _just_ a little as he looks at Reiji a moment longer, before he heads out, the door clicking shut behind him.

There’s a pause for a moment. Just long enough that they’re sure Natsuki’s out of earshot.

“Oh my _god--”_

“SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP REN I KNOW--”

“Oh. My. _GOD!!!”_

“I’M A DISASTER, I _KNOW_ , I _GET_ IT--”

_“No_ , you dumbass!! He’s clearly head over fuckin’ _heels_ for you, Buki, how the _hell_ did none of us see this sooner, I have to text Syo right no--”

Reiji shrieks like a banshee, tackling Ren onto the bed at light speed.

“Don’t you _dare_ bring Syotan into this, oh my god it’s embarrassing enough that _you two_ know--”

“Nope, I’m gonna tell him, you two need _serious_ help, you’re both _disasters--”_

The argument quickly becomes impossible to follow as they wrestle, Reiji trying in vain to bat Ren’s phone out of his hands as he types single-handedly above his head. It isn’t long before Ren shrieks like a little girl - ‘Don’t fucking _bite_ me, Buki, what the _fuck--”_ \- and Ranmaru knows he’s going to have to intervene.

Nagi had told him once that he, Ren and Camus had been the most infuriating, drawn-out getting together process he’d ever seen, ‘and I had to watch Yamato, Kira and Van for years can you even _imagine_ how stupid and annoying _that_ situation was’. He doesn’t doubt it. The three of them had had walls upon walls of concrete hiding their real emotions back, and even now they all slip back into bad habits occasionally. 

‘But’, he thinks, from his new perch atop Reiji’s back as he writhes and screeches, failing miserably in his attempts to dethrone him, ‘I get the feeling he’ll be switchin’ his rankings around real soon.’

Ren, seated safely across the room on the settee, makes a show of hitting send. Reiji makes a noise like a wounded dog and ceases struggling. Within two minutes, Ren’s phone pings no less than 7 times. And the notifications do not cease for several hours.

The betting pool is assembled. And so the game begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> absolutely 100% didn't expect to write randy when i started this chapter but here we are
> 
> just as a heads up i have no set timeline here - mm hasn't happened canonically in the anime, games or sl yet that i know so uhhhhh this is probably a fuckin custom au???? some stuff from sl will definitely show up later though
> 
> title from don't mix your drinks by elbow (i guess the trend is Just Elbow Lyrics for titles now huh (though i'm just goin with stuff that even vaguely sounds appropriate hdkshkfdh)
> 
> the next chapter is done already, but it's super long so i'm debating cutting it into two?? idk let me know whether you'd prefer a single chapter that's over 10k or 2 smaller ones? either way the chapter i'm writing i need to draw some art for so it could be a hot minute lmao


	3. my oldest friends are a serious habit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s after searching the goofy little face of the doll for answers for five straight minutes that Syo walks in. They stare at each other in silence.
> 
> “You… okay there buddy?”

In the end, they decide to practice in Natsuki’s room.

It isn’t what either of them had necessarily planned for - while each member of Starish has their own bedroom in their new shared apartment, the quantity of rooms packed into the space had meant they were considerably smaller than the rooms in the Quartet Night apartment a few blocks away. The increased floor space in Reiji’s room, combined with the other three members of the group _usually_ being out when he had free time, had made it seem like a more natural choice.

When they’d come to compare their schedules, however, the only shared free time they’d found in the week ahead had been early Sunday morning. With Ranmaru and Camus booked in on Ringo’s late night Saturday talk show (and therefore also Ringo’s post-filming 2am clubbing extravaganza), they had both agreed they’d prefer _not_ to risk the wrath of the inevitably-hungover duo with their work. While Natsuki had checked for a free training room at the agency proper, they’d left it perhaps a little too late, with the final room for their requested time slot snapped up only minutes prior.

They were fortunate that Masato and Cecil had gone grocery shopping the day before, all things considered.

It was in this way that Natsuki found himself nervously rearranging his plushie collection for the 4th time in 2 days. His room was spotless - he’d always been quite persnickety with his cleaning habits, in all honesty, so he hadn’t had much to do. His house plants were watered and tended to (Mr Aloe was making a remarkable recovery after sacrificing a cutting for Otoya’s burn the week prior!) and he’d made his bed, constellation-dotted throw cover laid neatly at its foot. With the regency books he’d had out for research tucked neatly back in his bookshelf and a pot of tea ready to brew in the group’s shared kitchen, all that was left to do was to finally sort the itch that came with seeing his squishy friends laid out incorrectly.

If only he could figure out _how_.

Instinct told him the bed was the place to put them - that was, after all, where they were most frequently housed, and no doubt their practice would involve being more on their feet than sat, assuming they would be doing run throughs of lines. But then, what if they weren’t? What if Reiji had something more theoretical in mind? Surely then they would be sitting - but would he prefer to be sat at the coffee table or on the bed? And if the bed then... where would the plushies go? It would be sacrilege to just put them on the floor, but would they even all fit on the chairs?

And then there was the matter of _prioritisation_ \- who should go to the front? Piyo-chan seemed the most likely choice of course, considering their shared appreciation of his many talents. But after him he’s not really sure who Reiji would like best…

Each member of Starish has their own favourite among his smaller friends: Otoya is fond of Mr Orion’s little pink leather nose, and Masato finds rolling the beads in Mr Bacon comforting, and _Tokiya_ is very fond of Mr Lup’s detailed toe beans. Ren has told him he likes Chikuwabu Sr (‘It’s cute that you named your real bunny after your baby toy’ he’d said), and Syo likes Mr Bunny’s soft pink fur but absolutely _hates_ Syo Jr - though Cecil likes the little bear most of all, for its resemblance to their smallest groupmate.

But Quartet Night (other than Ai, who has staunchly refused to select a favourite - ‘they’re all lovely Natsuki, can we _please_ concentrate on our work--’) have all yet to meet his softer friends. It’s been so long since he’s introduced anyone new to them that he can’t help but feel a little nervous! 

Then there is of course the elephant in the room. Or rather, the Super Reiji-kun in the room. He’s not really sure what to do with him. The others have joked enough about him that he’s _sure_ Reiji must know he owns the doll, but he really doesn’t know if it’d be better to just leave him out in the open, boldly declaring himself a superfan of Reiji’s older works, or to sequester him away into Tokiya’s room while he’s out.

It’s after searching the goofy little face of the doll for answers for five straight minutes that Syo walks in. They stare at each other in silence.

“You… okay there buddy?”

The words to explain his dilemma escape him. It’s fortunate, really, that he’s known Syo long enough that they can communicate via gestures as well as words - all it takes is him turning Super Reiji-kun to his long-time friend for him to figure it out.

“Ah. Yeah, that’s a tough one, huh.”

“Syo, is everything okay? We need to be leaving in 10 minutes.”

“Oh,” says Syo, looking over his shoulder as Masato pokes his head in, “Sorry, I won’t be too long. Natsuki’s having a plushie dilemma.”

Concern flickers over Masato’s face as he walks in, muttering a polite ‘thank you for having me’ as he steps through the door frame. He comes to settle by Natsuki on the sheepskin rug, carefully arranging himself so as to pick up as little of its fluff as possible on his clothes.

“Has Chikuwabu Sr’s stitching come loose again?”

“Ah, no, he’s okay!” Natsuki says, appreciative of the concern for his oldest friend. “Just… Rei will be here soon and… I just don’t know how to arrange my plushies at all! I’ve tried so many different combinations and placements, and nothing feels right - and what do I do with Super Reiji-kun? What if he thinks it’s strange I have him, or any of them at all? What if he doesn’t like them, Masato?”

Masato gently takes Super Reiji-kun from him as he speaks, and sets him with the other plushies. He gathers Natsuki’s hands in his, and rubs his thumbs soothingly over his fingers, listening attentively. It’s this ability to listen without bias that Natsuki has always loved about Masato - it’s so easy to calm himself in the face of someone who has no qualms about showing they care for him.

“Well, this is Mr Kotobuki we’re talking about. I can’t imagine he’d be one to judge someone for their interests - he strikes me as the type who has dealt with the negative effects of that sort of behaviour first hand.”

“Yeah, that tracks,” Syo says, crouching down next to the pair. “Otoya and Tokiya certainly ribbed him about his maracas enough when they first started working with him. Besides, I’m pretty sure Reiji has a Super Reiji-kun himself! And a big plush chicken, I think? It’s been a while since I’ve been to his place but I think I remember him having that...”

“Ah, yes, of course. Karaage, I believe? I remember Kurosaki used to make a habit of hiding him from him when we all still lived in the dorms. And he always took him to--”

 _“Camus’s room!_ Yeah, I remember now!” Syo exclaims, almost unbalancing himself from his squat in his enthusiasm. ”He riled up Camus _way_ more than Reiji with that one, they’d be at each other's throats for _hours._ God, how did none of us ever realise back then that they had a thing for each other?”

“Like children on the playground pulling each others’ pigtails.” Masato chuckles. Natsuki giggles too, remembering the late night brawls-cum-pillow fights that resulted - hardly anyone had joined Ranmaru’s team, knowing he was in the wrong, and so he and Ren (ever an agent of chaos) had started to resort to dirtier and dirtier tactics as time went on. It was really very lucky that Ryuuya had put a stop to the tradition before they’d started loading bricks or knives into their pillows.

“You really think it’ll be okay?” he says, looking between his friends.

“Of course!” Syo says, grinning at him. “Reiji’s chill. He’s a nice guy, he doesn’t judge people without good reason. And he’s always glad to know he has fans! I’m sure he’ll find Super Reiji-kun endearing if anything.”

Natsuki looks at the little doll again. The goofy smile seems somehow reassuring, now that he’s taken a minute to breathe - seems to call out ‘You’ve got this, Nattsun!’. He can almost feel the ghost of a hand slapping his arm lightly, encouraging him as he walks out on stage, and he smiles instinctively. His heart swells at the memory - it was Reiji’s constant drive to inspire others that had drawn him in as a fan in the first place. And that had eventually, after truly knowing him, made him... 

He looks back up at his friends. Masato’s smile is sly. Syo waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

_“Guyssss~_ don’t _tease_ me!” he wails, burying his face in his hands.

They laugh at him affectionately, Syo patting his shoulder good-naturedly. Masato rises gracefully from the floor.

“My apologies, Shinomiya. I just find your affections for him very sweet.” He chuckles once more at Natsuki’s faux-grumpy expression. “Here - in recompense I’ll go and set your tea on to brew before we head out. Will that work for an apology?”

“Oh, you don’t need to do that!”

“I insist! It’s no trouble at all. Hopefully it will take something extra off your mind while you and Syo finish up with your reorganising.”

With a polite bow of his head to Natsuki, he steps back out through the door, clicking it shut. Natsuki giggles at the little fond smile that plays over Syo’s face. 

“Oh, shut up.” he responds half-heartedly, poking Natsuki in the cheek. He gathers some of the plushies in his arms as he stands. “Right, where d’you want the devil spawn?”

Together they set out positioning the little army of soft toys around the room, Syo doing his best to hide Syo Jr away from sight until Natsuki catches him. They decide on the chairs as a setting, but with Piyo-chan seated on the bed. It’s still a little of a squeeze to fit them all on, but they seem stable enough that they probably won’t fall unless disturbed. 

It’s as Syo picks up Super Reiji-kun that Natsuki finally gathers the courage to ask him the question that’s been on his mind for months.

“Syo?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you… how do you manage to stay so cool around Masato?” he asks, fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves. Syo stops in his tracks, hand gripping the little doll just a fraction tighter.

“Oh. Well, uh, it’s… kinda hard to give advice on?” he says, scratching his cheek awkwardly. “I just… _made_ myself accept that I like him. But that if I treat him differently then he’ll _know_ and it’ll ruin our working relationship and… well, I like hanging out with him and doing the radio show, so it’d _suck_ to destroy that.”

“So I just kind of? Act the same as always. And if I come back to my room later and scream into my pillow because of how amazing he is then. That’s my business, y’know?”

Natsuki giggles at the flush of his cheeks.

“It’s nice to see you stay confident while you have a crush for once!” he says, turning his back to Syo to settle Jr in next to Mr Bacon and Mr Bunny.

“Confident? I dunno about that!” Syo laughs. “I guess more than anything I’m resigned to thinking that nothing’s gonna happen with him, so there's no reason to act any different. Don’t get me wrong, though, I’d love for _something_ to happen! Just. Masato feels like the kind of guy who’d get driven off if I pursued him, y’know?”

“And like… I’ve had crushes on guys before, sure, but this is the first time I’ve _known_ it was a crush! With Mr Hyuuga and Cecil I thought it was some like… hero-worship admiration thing. And I don’t have the first clue how to go about _actively_ flirting with guys!”

“Well, you’re doing better than me at any rate - I wouldn’t know how to actively flirt with _anyone!”_ Natsuki laughs. Syo scoffs.

“You’re the biggest flirt of all of us!”

“Huh? I _am?”_ he says, turning back to Syo in shock.

“Oh my god-- he doesn’t even know it!”

“Am I _really?”_

“Yeah, Natsuki.” Syo says, disbelieving. “You’re like. Naturally a bigger flirt than _Ren?”_

Natsuki’s hand comes up to cover his mouth, eyelashes fluttering in surprise.

“Oh _no…_ I hope I haven’t accidentally led anyone on…” he mutters, aghast, biting his lip worriedly.

Syo huffs a laugh, shaking his head. “I think you’re probably safe. Most people figure out it’s just your natural temperament pretty quick.”

“That’s good! Though…” his eyebrows furrow. “I guess that means if I were to try to actively flirt with Rei then he wouldn’t necessarily know, huh?”

Syo’s brows shoot up in surprise.

“Wait, are you gonna make a move? For _real?”_

Natsuki can feel his cheeks burn. He looks away from his friend, embarrassed, down to his twiddling thumbs.

“M-maybe? I’m thinking about it. Just. Rei’s so _wonderful._ He’s so charismatic and handsome and princely, and everyone’s a _little_ bit in love with him. So. It’s only a matter of time until someone else tries to pursue him, right? I don’t know what I’d do if he started dating someone else before I even _tell_ him…”

Syo stares at him for a minute. Natsuki knows his blank expression well enough to know that he isn’t judging him, like others might expect - he’s thinking. Thinking _hard._

“Huh. I guess… I never thought about it like that. If he started dating someone else…”

His gaze turns distant as he zones out. Natsuki simply watches him, takes in the journey his face is taking him on seemingly without knowing - there’s a lot of confusion in there, by the furrowed eyebrows, but maybe some determination that wasn’t present previously, too?

_Knock knock._

They both look up at the rap against Natsuki’s door.

“Shinomiya, the tea leaves are steeping now. They should be ready just as Mr Kotobuki arrives, provided he’s timely.”

“Okay! Thank you, Masato!”

“Of course.” he says, the smile audible in his voice. “Syo, I’m going to head downstairs - the driver’s probably waiting by now.”

“Oh, right! Let me just grab my bag from my room and I’ll be right with you.”

Syo exits the room, Natsuki trailing him, as Masato pulls the front door to. He heads off further down the corridor to grab his satchel as Natsuki walks over to pull mugs out of the cupboard.

“I don’t think anyone will be back for at least a few hours,” Syo calls over as he shrugs on his jacket, “You’ve got the place to yourself for a while, okay?”  
  
“Mhm. I’ll try to make a start on dinner for when everyone gets back!”  
  
“Great! Don’t worry about it if you don’t get chance though, we can always get takeout! And don’t you two go doing anything _I_ wouldn’t do!” Syo teases as he toes on his shoes.

“Aww, Syotan, don’t be such a buzzkill~”

They both jump a little at the unexpected voice. 

“Knock knock!” Reiji says playfully, rapping at the door from where he’s lounging in the doorframe. “I passed Hijirin on the way up, he said it was open.”

“ _Christ_ , Reiji, you gave me a heart attack--”  
  
“Rei!! Come in, come in!! Can I take your jacket?” Natsuki says, hurrying over to the door to greet him.

Reiji grins cheekily up at him (there’s a little flash of his gums, like his smile the other day, and _oh,_ he’s so _cute--_ ) as he takes his coat off with a flourish.

“My _my_ , what a gentleman!” he coos, flashing Natsuki a wink and handing him the garment. Natsuki giggles, heart beating a mile a minute as he takes it over to hang on their coat rack.

“Hey now, Don Juan, take it easy there.” Syo says, poking Reiji in the chest. “I’m not even out the door yet and you’re already laying it on thick.” 

Reiji gasps exaggeratedly, clutching Syo’s hands to his chest.

“Why, I would _never_ sir! I wouldn’t _dream_ of betraying you or your son’s trust like that - I am here to practice and nothing more! I swear on my honour!”

Natsuki knows they’re joking. Of _course_ they are, with all the dramatic intonation. But the prospect of Reiji secretly courting him like some beautiful lady from his regency books… He can’t help but feel flustered, heart in his throat.

Syo snorts a laugh at the performance. “Yeah, okay, if you say so. I know your game, Romeo.”

“Aww, Syotan~ You’re so mean~” Reiji says, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. He wilts dramatically as Natsuki walks back over, falling into the arms that instinctively reach to support his weight before he hits the deck.

"Oh, _Nattsun!_ I fear what would have become of me without _you_ here, so deep is the wound Syotan has dealt~" he cries, hands clutching at Natsuki’s biceps as he buries his head into the other’s chest. Syo just rolls his eyes at him, hiking his bag strap up.

"Right, I'd better go - don't want to keep Masato waiting. I'll see you two dumbasses later." He teases, waving at the pair. Natsuki offers one in return, free hand playing along with Reiji's hijinks and rubbing his back soothingly.

Syo stops the door suddenly just before it clicks shut, peeking his head around it.

"Natsuki - thanks for the advice." He says. Natsuki swears he can see a dusting of pink to his cheeks, a bashful set to his brows, in the second he's there - and then he's gone, the sound of his footsteps growing ever more distant as he heads down the corridor.

"Advice?" asks Reiji, emerging from his hiding spot in the front of Natsuki's jumper. Natsuki blinks in confusion, pouting slightly.

"I didn't give him any advice that I know of. How strange…" 

“Strange indeed!” he says, straightening up and moving out of Natsuki’s grasp (he finds he misses the warmth of him in his arms almost immediately). “Speakin’ of strange, since when does he call Hijirin by his first name? That’s new, right? I coulda swore they’ve always been overly formal with each other; _triple_ formal, even.”

“Mmm, it’s been a month or so now I think? I don’t really know what made them switch, now that I think about it - when I asked at the time they clammed up ever so quickly!”

“You don’t say?” Reiji says, pensively. He moves to rest his head in one hand, one arm supporting the other. His eyes sparkle with mischief even as they narrow in thought, his mouth twitching into a smirk. He looks up at Natsuki out of the corner of his eye.

“I think that requires some sleuthing from ol’ Detective Rei at some point, huh?” 

Natsuki giggles. He thinks, as Reiji watches him, he sees his face soften _just_ a little-- but he stops himself in his tracks from getting caught up in it (‘This is no time to let yourself get flustered!’ he scolds himself internally, in his best imitation of what he thinks Satsuki might sound like).

“But as for now...” Reiji says, kicking his shoes off and arranging them neatly by the door, “Practice!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna wait a little while to post this one because i'm still chipping away at the next chapter but then i saw this hit 100 hits and 15 kudos so!! i thought i'd post it a little early as a thank you for reading :>
> 
> ultimately went with chopping this in half because it was just. a little _too_ long lmao  
> so next chapter will jump straight back in to the practice! i hope you'll look forward to it B)
> 
> chapter title is from fly boy blue / lunette by elbow


	4. you were the sun in my sunday morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't fully understand his condition himself, if he's being honest. Therapy has certainly helped - 'gemini syndrome' had been cute before he'd realised there was a real name for what he and Satsuki experienced, a term that informed people how they could best share space with them and help them with difficulties that arose.
> 
> [content warning for discussions of trauma + triggers!!!]

“Yes, practice!” Natsuki says, clapping his hands together. He points down the corridor, past the kitchen. “My room is the first one on the left! Would you like a cup of tea? It should just be finished brewing!”

“Oh, please!” comes Reiji’s voice as he heads off towards their destination. Natsuki takes the tea strainer from one of the drawers, gathering the lemon coloured teapot where Masato has left it and gently fills the mugs, careful not to spill leaves in. He’s known how everyone takes their tea by heart for quite some time now, and so he sets out preparing the drinks exactly as required - skimmed milk and two sugars for Reiji when he takes black tea, and just whole milk for himself. 

It’s as he’s loading a tray with their mugs, the teapot, strainer and additives that he hears Reiji bark out an elated laugh.

“Nattsun, you never told me you had a mini-me!”

The mortified flush rises to his cheeks preemptively. 

“O-oh, did I not? The other guys joke about it often so I guess I thought I might’ve already told you.”

He hip-checks his bedroom door open to see Reiji crouched by the bed, smiling gleefully. There, resting against the pillow, are Piyo-chan and Super Reiji-kun, their wing and hand positioned to be intertwined.

_Syo._

He marks this down, as the heat rises to the tips of his ears, as the first time he’s ever had the passing thought about killing his smaller friend.

“I didn’t dare to think it was true!” Reiji babbles, blissfully unaware of Natsuki’s embarrassment. “I couldn’t have imagined that _you_ of all people would be a old fan of mine. You listen to more pop and classical than anything, right?”

Natsuki takes his time setting the tray on the coffee table to avoid meeting his eyes.

“I’m rather fond of rock too, actually. Your early debut stuff… really spoke to me. _Still_ speaks to me honestly. I’m particularly fond of Chain Reaction.”

“Hoo, that _is_ early!” Reiji laughs. “That was a fun shoot! I think I still have the jacket somewhere actually, I really liked that one…” 

He chances a glance back over at him. Reiji’s sat cross-legged on the rug cradling the two little dolls in his arms, looking far happier than Natsuki would’ve expected him to, having found out his co-worker is a fan. His smile as he looks down at the pair is subtle, but exceptionally fond, laugh lines more prominent as he snorts a small laugh.

“You… don’t think it’s strange?”

Reiji looks over his shoulder to him, eyebrow raised. “What, you having a little mini-me?”

Natsuki nods. 

“Not at all! On the contrary, I’m _honoured_ . You’re a really skilled musician, have been since _way_ before I made any music worth debuting. That you think my stuff is genuinely good past just coworkerly support - to the point you’d buy my merch, even! - is the biggest compliment I think I’ve ever gotten for it! Besides, it’s not as though I’m not a fan of yours too!”

The speed he turns around at surprises himself most of all.

“Huh? _Really?”_

Reiji’s grin is somewhat disbelieving.

“Of course! What’s not to love? You put a raw emotion into your music like I’ve never heard before, it’s-- it’s _addictive_ , really. Your skill with your viola is second to none, your lyrics are so poetic and personal to you, and your _voice_ \-- I’ve been a little obsessed ever since you debuted honestly.” He looks bashful, as he confesses his admiration, but not at how passionately he speaks. Natsuki can’t really place it, the exact reason for his embarrassment, as he looks at him, eyelashes fluttering. It takes him a long moment to place the meaning of his words. 

“ _You_ like _my_ music. You really do?”

He doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t try to make any quips at all. His face is sincere, though smiling.

“Uhu. I think you’re a really amazing artist, Nattsun.”

He turns away, feeling his ears burn anew. He takes Reiji’s mug and hands it to him, only meeting his eyes to make sure he doesn’t fumble the drink and spill it all over them both.

“T-thank you very much! You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that.”

“Haha, you’re very welcome! It means a lot to hear _you’re_ a fan of _me_ too!”

Natsuki takes his own mug and sips from it, trying to calm his nerves. ‘This is fine,’ he chants to himself internally, in the Satsuki voice. ‘Just two colleagues who are mutually appreciative of each other. Nothing to get anxious about - if anything this should _calm_ your nerves. He thinks you’re cool. He likes your music. He thinks it’s _addictive._ That’s great. That’s wonderful, oh _god_ he thinks my music is _addictive--?’_

“You okay?”

He’s snapped out of it by Reiji’s voice. He leans forward, concerned, hand raised a little as though he were about to reach over to touch him and thought the better of it. It’s touching, though he can’t help but feel a little bad for making him worry.

“A-- a little overwhelmed is all. It’s a lot to find out your favourite idol also likes _your_ work, I think.”

Reiji chuckles softly.

“You take as long as you need.” He says, taking Piyo-chan and gently placing him to lean against Natsuki’s leg. “We have all day. Or I can come back another time if that’s what you need - whatever helps you feel more comfortable.”

His heart flutters at the soft tone, the care inherent in his voice. He scoops Piyo-chan up and holds him close in his lap, a secure and comforting presence.

“Thank you. I’m alright though, really. I’m ready to start whenever you are!”

The worry doesn’t quite leave Reiji’s eyes, but he seems to realise and respect that Natsuki is aware of his own limits. His hand finally reaches out, grasping at Natsuki’s forearm and squeezing. Just a little. A gentle encouragement, an acknowledgement of his feelings. Then without another word on the matter he sits back and grabs his bag, rifling through it quickly. After a moment he draws back, exclaiming triumphantly and clutching a stack of paper - his script.

“Right! So!” he says, tapping and shuffling the wad until the stack is neat. “A little birdy told me there are some things about the context of the show you don’t quite get yet, or aren’t really comfy with. So I think our first port of call should be looking at that - it’ll certainly help to iron out any stiffness left in your performance. Then after that we can check on the time and see how we feel about a runthrough?”

“That sounds good to me.” Natsuki says, nodding enthusiastically. “What sort of things were you thinking?”

“Well, Myu said he’s giving you a hand with the regency stuff with Kirarin. I don’t think I’d be able to offer anything that they can’t in leaps and bounds more detail, other than maybe a few British history books, if you’re interested?”

“Oh! That would be good, thank you. Mr Myu has a variety of books on European high society, but nothing on Britain specifically. I’d like to get as rounded a knowledge on it as I can, since the setting is unclear!”

“A sensible plan!” Reiji praises him, making a note in a little book he retrieves from his bag. “In that case, why don’t we focus on getting comfy with our roles today? I’d guess it’s not a thing you’ve really had to do before, right?”

“Mhm. This is my first serious role. While it’s been written with parts of me in mind, it’s… more in-depth with those parts of me than those previous. They’ve all been fairly minor, or I’ve been acting as someone very removed from me so I haven’t seen myself represented so thoroughly and yet… _insensitively_ , I suppose.”

“Oh, yeah, I _totally_ understand.” says Reiji, huffing a sigh. “It’s always like whiplash the first time you act in a play Shiny came up with. He truly does not understand that some of his idols have things they’re sensitive about and they _don’t_ want spreading all over the place. Or, y’know, we at the very least want them represented properly. It feels like Rin and Ryuu are always arguing with him about it.”

Natsuki smiles, resignedly. “Yes. He might be good as a boss on the business side, but in terms of taking _care_ of his idols he… leaves a lot to be desired.”

Reiji laughs, but there's little humour to it. “You’re telling me! Fortunately for you - but not so much for me - I’m one of his favourites to steal trauma from. I’m a bit of an old hand at adapting my parts to suit my brain by now.”

He sets the script aside properly, rearranging Super Reiji-kun in his lap as he goes. He twiddles the pen between his fingers, tapping it against his lips as he flips to a new page in his notebook.

“I don’t think it’s too big a reach for me to assume it’s the handling of Satsuki you’re not a big fan of?”

Natsuki huffs a little laugh. “No, that’d be right. It’s, um. _Sloppy_. If I were to use the kindest term possible. His characterisation isn’t off, or… at least so Ai and Syo say. Just… well the language used to describe him isn’t at all right, and Sino’s childhood is seemingly implied to be idyllic so… I can’t see much reason for him to be there other than Shining wanted some sort of antagonistic force. And that’s...”

“Shitty.”

_"Yeah.”_

Reiji sighs.

“Is it really so hard for him to just _talk_ to his employees every once in a while or, I don’t know, do _any_ research…” he mutters to himself, rubbing his forehead.

He startles as Natsuki giggles - he probably hadn’t intended the thought to be heard, from the bashful expression that rises to his face.

“Well it would certainly save us a lot of hassle just trying to do our jobs!” he explains.

Natsuki giggles more at his righteous indignation. Reiji’s annoyance seems to melt away, seeing his friend isn’t distressed at least.

“For me, I’ve always found the best way to deal with stuff like this is-- Well, I’m sure Ringo did character development workshops with you in the academy?”

“Mhm. The concept is certainly familiar to me, yes."

“Well, what we’re gonna do is take that concept and just stretch it a little more. So say…” he scribbles furiously in his notebook for a second, and then shuffles over to sit next to Natsuki. It’s hard not to fixate on the heat coming from his body, as their shoulders bump, but Natsuki fights to concentrate on his scratchy handwriting instead.

“For me, I’m not particularly comfortable with Lazy’s implied… _incestuous_ tones, I think for obvious reasons.”

Natsuki nods, trusting that even though Reiji isn’t looking at him, he knows he’s following along.

“So I’m going to take that trait about him and think ‘okay, how can I make this make a little more sense, when combined with other aspects of his character?’ I take him and I presume he wouldn’t genuinely fall for his sister, because _hey what the hell is that_ , and think ‘so why would he try to convince _himself_ that he’s in love with her’ instead.”

He starts to mark bullet points underneath his scribbles about Lazy’s distasteful trait.

“He’s the eldest son of a wealthy family, to be attending some fancy masquerade ball, right? So he’s probably under pressure to marry well. Sino calls him ‘everyone’s Lazy’ though, so he can’t be happy about that at all. So maybe he’s trying to convince himself he loves her as an excuse to not fall for anyone else?” he says, noting it down, handwriting a little more scrawly in his hurry.

“But then, that doesn’t quite fit on its own - his parents would more than likely not accept him wanting to marry his sister, adopted or not.” He crosses his note out neatly.

“So then what else is there that it could be? _Maybe_ …”

He taps his pen pointedly against the paper, turning to look at Natsuki and check he’s following along. Natsuki can’t help but find his enthusiasm cute, suppressing the urge to squeeze him in a hug as he turns back to the paper.

“ _Maybe_ he’s in love with someone else already, but who would be considered distasteful to high society? Perhaps a girl from a lowly station? But there’s no sign of any such person in his life.” he says, writing it down and crossing it through.

“Then _maybe_ it’s that he’s fallen in love with a man? It was definitely an era where the concept was uncomfortable to most, so it fits in that regard. Other things might point to it too - overcompensating by flirting with every woman in sight is certainly a big tell. I did it myself when I was younger!” he snickers.

“But perhaps there is a specific _who_ that it can be narrowed down to.”

He picks up his script again and flips a few pages.

“Here, see?” He points to the first scene Natsuki has with Tomochika - the one he had received so much praise for on their first day of practice.

“Lazy’s an overprotective big brother, sure, but if you strip away the idea of him being that way because he’s in love with her, then where does this _discomfort_ come from? If his sister were to become involved with Sino, that would be a _good_ thing - from a political aspect, he’s a police officer of seemingly some standing, and his family is also quite wealthy, for him to be at this ball. And from a personal one, because they’re good friends and he knows Sino would treat her properly - he’s someone Lazy can trust to respect her. Plus, there’s the added bonus of their two families remaining close.”

“So what’s left?”

Natsuki scans the lines, analysing them with the new context Reiji has given him in mind.

“Maybe… that he’s in love with Sino himself?”

“Exactly!” Reiji declares, making a big show of writing it down in capital letters and circling it twice. He taps the paper excitedly, hammering a plethora of dots onto the page as he continues to speak.

“I’ve looked over the script a _ton_ of times by now and it’s the only way of reading his character that I can make sense of! His poor little gay self falling hard for his best friend as a child, and knowing he can _never_ have him because society is too cruel. As he grows up, his parents expect him to marry, but there are no women who interest him. He thinks _perhaps_ that he can make a show of seeing many women but never find the right match, showing his parents that he’s unmarriable, but _maybe_ his younger sister might find a better match and free him of his burden--”

He hammers one last dot to the page (the previous triumphant declaration is practically illegible beneath the sea of them he’s created), before throwing his arm out wide, gesticulating wildly in his excitement.

“But then suddenly!! Who should take an interest in her at the key moment but the very boy he has feelings for himself! He’s crushed! Broken! He isn’t thinking straight!”

Any pretense of writing notes has been abandoned in his dramatic monologue. Natsuki cannot withhold his fond smile as Reiji clutches at his own chest dramatically, pen and paper discarded to the floor.

“‘What can I do?’ he thinks ‘for if she marries him then I shall have to watch him happy with another in his arms for the rest of my days!’ ‘I simply could not bear it!’ he cries! And then!” he throws his head back, eyes opened wide. “An idea!”

“‘Sino would never wish to hurt me!’ he thinks. ‘Perhaps if I were to tell him I had fallen for my sister - who I have recently learned is in fact adopted! - then he would back away from her! And she could find another and I could pine from afar with no further threat to my sanity!’”

He stares into the middleground for a long moment, face a perfect picture of longing and grief. And then the illusion drops in an instant, his hands folding loosely in his lap as his face settles into a self-satisfied smile.

“And so that’s what I’ve developed this time around to help me cope with Shining’s latest moral abomination. At least, so long as it’s okay by you?”

Natsuki’s eyebrows furrow. He can’t think about why he would take up any issue with the concept - Reiji projecting his sexuality onto his character is a wonderful thing, and one that makes perfect sense with the context explained to him.

Then it hits him - if Reiji goes with this then he’ll be acting Lazy as though he’s in love with Sino. Pretending that he has-- that he has _feelings_ for _Natsuki._

“Yes!! Yes, of _course_ , of _course_ it’s okay! _More_ than okay, really! Whatever makes you feel comfortable in your role!” he says hurriedly. He can feel his cheeks _burning_ as Reiji laughs at his enthusiasm to approve his idea. 

“Thanks, Nattsun! So long as I’m not making you uncomfortable at all.” he says, head cocking to one side. 

His hair falls like a curtain, some of the longer bangs he normally tucks behind his ear falling into his face. Natsuki watches the trail of his fingers as they push them away, out of his golden-brown, almost _amber_ eyes. His eyeliner smudges a little as he catches it on the way, and his eyelashes are long enough that his mascara has left marks against his cheekbones and-- there’s a wistful _ache_ in his chest that he both hates, and cannot get enough of.

“No, of course you wouldn’t be.” He says. He can still feel the heat in his cheeks, but the initial fluster is gone. After all, to be on the receiving end of Reiji’s affections, fake or otherwise, is… well, it’s all he’s wanted for quite some time now. He’s happy to take whatever he can get.

Reiji smiles, pink tips of his ears peeking through where he hasn't quite tucked his hair back properly. He ducks his head, mumbling his thanks.

"So, uh. As for you and Sino. It's entirely up to you what you want to do." He says, flipping to another new page in the pad. "Under any other circumstances I'd say you might be able to get the writer or director to tweak a few things, but. Well, we both know what Shiny's like. Probably best to keep within the realms of what we have for now and work around it."

Natsuki worries his lip, nodding as he looks up to the glow-in-the-dark sticker stars on his ceiling.

'Within the realm of the text…'

He doesn't fully understand his condition himself, if he's being honest. Therapy has certainly helped - 'gemini syndrome' had been cute before he'd realised there was a _real_ name for what he and Satsuki experienced, a term that informed people how they could best share space with them and help them with difficulties that arose. It's certainly a mouthful, dissociative identity disorder, but it was much better than simply confusing his friends and having them treat Satsuki and himself as… well, _menaces_ as a result.

The trauma in childhood is the vital part, he knows. The instigating factor to splitting an alter. He doesn't really remember his own; but then that's why Satsuki had formed in the first place, in an attempt to protect him from it. All he really remembers himself he’s figured out from his triggers: the sudden spinning of the world when he loses his glasses suddenly; the velvet cushions of piano stools; and until recently, something as simple as the act of holding a violin in his hands. There are other discomforts too - certain French pet names used in reference to him, particular rhythms and phrases of music that he recognises from the compositions of his childhood, just simply sitting in a room of largely dark wooden furniture - but none which threw Satsuki to front instantly like those three. 

It's easy to pick a trigger for Sino, particularly since it's already written into the play - the mask, and so too his glasses, falling from his face suddenly. Shining had not actually cast Satsuki as Sino's nameless alter, but it was apparent that he would be thrust into the role anyway, simply due to the stage directions. Natsuki had made sure to write him a note in the journal app they used to communicate, just to double check he was okay with it. It was fortunate for all of them that he'd agreed - if _he'd_ had to act as Satsuki, he'd be having an even harder time adjusting than he already was.

"May I?" he asks, airily, still lost in thought as he reaches for the pad and pen in Reiji's hands. He hands them over with a smile, visibly pleased that Natsuki seems to be finding the technique useful. He makes a quick note - 'trigger: glasses' - in his usual bubbly script.

The instigating trauma itself is more difficult to define. There's a whole realm of horrific possibilities, and it's quite hard for him to select something specific, especially without knowing his own. There's a chance that if he accidentally picks something too close to his own then he'll trigger himself on stage and, well. That wouldn't be ideal.

"The trauma is tricky." he says aloud, worrying his lip. He finds himself doodling in the margins of the paper, masquerade masks and feathers and clovers, as Reiji scratches his chin in thought.

"If I read right then... an alter fronting for the first time isn't necessarily a direct result of the initial trauma right?" he says. He hugs his knees to his chest as he looks at him, inquisitive but not wanting to overstep.

(Natsuki's glad, incredibly so, that there's someone among his friends who takes their time to learn along with him. Reiji had been the first when he'd told them, other than Syo, to look into DID, and he'd made sure to share the resources he found with everyone else and encourage them to read them too.

"It's nothing, really! Just common courtesy." he'd said, waving it off when Natsuki had thanked him. "My group took way _way_ too long to even try to engage with learning about my shit. There's no way I'd let that happen to anyone else while I can do something about it!")

"That's true." Natsuki says, hugging Piyo-chan tightly to his chest. "I'm not sure that that wasn't the case with Satsuki, actually. I seem to remember him writing in our journal that his fronting was a… straw that broke the camel's back scenario. It'd still be triggering for me to learn about, I'm sure, but… not as much so as what caused him to split."

Reiji nods in understanding.

"What about considering something like that? If you know you couldn’t think about the sort of thing that would actually _split_ the alter then… maybe a slightly more _minor_ incident would help you inform his character?"

Natsuki looks at Reiji, expression pensive. Something smaller. That seemed easier to manage. Something smaller that… perhaps linked to his career choices and his close bond with his childhood friends? 

"How about…" he ponders, tapping the pen to his cheek, "something that happened to both of us? Lazy seems aware of Sino's alter on some level, but not how he _works,_ I guess. Kind of like how Syo used to be with Satsuki."

"Oh, okay, that makes sense. Something that made their bond so close, but that also perhaps made Lazy fear Sino's alter?"

"Yes, precisely!" Natsuki exclaims, glad Reiji understands his line of thought. "Perhaps something… crime related too? That would make him want to go into law enforcement?"

He scribbles his notes down enthusiastically, Reiji nodding along in agreement.

He lists crimes in his head, clamoring for one that feels like it fits. Arson is too wide spread, and murder doesn’t fit for obvious reasons. He can’t stomach the idea of assault or… _worse_ , so that’s a no go. Thievery is too minor-- _wait._

“What if… there was a kidnapping?”

Reiji sits up straighter, attentive. “Oh?”

“Maybe they were both… kidnapped as children for ransom or something? Their families are wealthy, right? I think that’s a thing criminals do sometimes, steal kids to offer them back for profit.”

“Oh! Okay yeah, that definitely _sounds_ stressful enough a situation.”

“Satsuki’s a protector though so… it needs a little more detail, I think. To specify a more specific threat to Sino.”

“That’s okay, take your time with it! You don’t need to force yourself to come up with everything at once - what you’ve got is already great! I hope it’s helping!”

Natsuki finds that even though the subject matter is by no means cheerful, strangely it _does_ help. There’s a context forming, a basis for Sino’s alter’s extreme hostility and protectiveness. It makes him seem less the _monster_ that Shining is trying to make Satsuki into and more realistic, more _human._

“It is! Thank you, Rei, really! I haven’t tested out acting with it in mind yet, of course, but… I already feel like it’s going to help a lot.”

"Well, no time like the present, right?" Reiji declares, rising to his feet with a flourish. He knocks back the rest of his tea like a shot, placing the mug down on the tray as he offers Natsuki his hand.

He takes it. Reiji pulls him up with relative ease, considering his height - it's the little things like this that leave his heart aflutter. It's hard to drop his hand after he's got his balance but, badly attempting to flirt or not, he knows he can't hold it forever. He finishes his own tea to mask his disappointment, preparing them both another cup efficiently.

"Where d'you want to start?" Reiji asks, swiping his script from the floor and skimming through the pages quickly.

He thinks for a minute, retrieving his own script from the shelf. "From our first scene together would probably be best. So I can test the waters properly."

Reiji nods with a smile, content. He looks over his lines briefly, before setting the script on the bed.

"Ready when you are!"

They start at more-or-less the beginning, clipping only the introduction scene for Lazy, and go through as complete a run-through as they can. Sino arrives at the ball and there's the establishment of he and Lazy's chemistry, before Sino becomes hopelessly charmed by Lazy's sister. After heading out onto the ballroom proper, the two take turns dancing with her - while before they had simply read around Tomochika's lines, here they take it in turns to assume her role. Natsuki finds himself hoping they'll practice like this again, just the two of them, after the choreography is finalised.

After the dance, a masked singer arrives - Ai's character, Einsatz - and Lazy's sister finds herself bewitched by his singing and follows him as he leaves. The two find themselves falling for each other fast, but Einsatz is already a wanted thief. Quickly discovered by keen detective work, he's pursued by Lazy and Sino as they try to arrest him. In the chase, Sino's glasses are dislodged, and his alter is brought to front. With his efforts, Einsatz is caught - but only temporarily. He steals the sister's necklace, but not before she vows that she will one day catch him and retrieve it, along with her stolen heart. 

He'd heard the others' opinions on Masquerade Mirage already - there's been plenty of opportunities between the initial meeting where they'd found out the plays' premises and casts, the few practices they've already had, and countless breaks and dinners between other jobs.

Ai doesn't particularly care for it one way or the other, though he enjoys that he gets a more prominent singing role. He'd had nothing more to say on the matter at the time, and Natsuki knows better than to pester him by now, so they'd left it at that.

Tomochika, meanwhile, is conflicted; as Shining Agency's top up-and-coming female idol, she's been given the task of bringing the heroines of all three plays to life. While she technically has more work than each of the agency's current front facing male idol rotation, she's less than happy about the lack of agency her characters have - the absence of names, having no presence in the promotional material, largely a faceless damsel for the audience to project themselves on. She's determined to prove herself, to give each of the girls a lasting impression in the audiences' minds, to hopefully rectify this for the future.

Reiji likes the play well enough, he says, though he seems particularly annoyed about the flagrant misrepresentation of Satsuki (he'd heard mutterings from more senior idols that he, Ringo and Ryuuya had campaigned _hard_ to make Shining rewrite his last set of plays due to terrible representation - while he'd eventually caved, the lesson clearly hadn't _stuck_ ). Besides that, the best he's heard on the subject is a 'not bad'. He couldn't really say for what reason Reiji doesn't seem satisfied, past the obvious - he might fool others with his tomfoolery and mothering nature, but Natsuki can see the mask keeping his true feelings hidden clearly. This setting and genre would get Reiji extremely excited in any other scenario, but no matter how many 'I'm glad it's not Tenka!' jokes he makes, Natsuki knows he's less than enthused with Masquerade Mirage. He's _determined_ to figure out why. 

As for himself, well. Despite the play's glaring flaws he's found himself falling in love with it very quickly. The story of Einsatz and Lazy's sister is ever so romantic in his eyes; almost like a fairytale. The other plays sound plenty fun themselves, but he’s glad it’s this one he’s on - not only does it feel like being on one of the period dramas his mother is so fond of, but with the gun props in Joker Trap and the pounding instrumentals in Tenka… well, he’s less likely to get overstimulated. He doubts Shining took that into consideration at all when deciding the cast, but it’s an incredibly happy coincidence for him. And then there’s his favourite part - getting to work alongside two of the most talented idols in the industry. Working with Ai is always a pleasure, but working with Reiji is like a _dream_.

Reiji’s said in multiple interviews that after comedy, he considers himself an actor above all. It’s what he’s been working at the longest - his mother had had him auditioning for commercials from a young age after noticing his flair for the dramatic, Shining had taken notice and that’d been that. He’d known what he was destined to do for the rest of his life.

(Natsuki wonders, absently, if Shining would’ve listened to Reiji at all regarding representation if it weren’t for their almost 20 years of working together - he’s sure it helps that the scolding came from his three arguably most senior employees)

It’s obvious now, working opposite him, exactly what his mother and Shining had seen in him all those years ago. He can tell it isn’t all natural talent - if he didn’t know that Reiji worked tirelessly day in day out, then it’d be obvious in other ways: the precision to his movements; the purposeful twitches to his expression that from anyone else might portray any number of emotions, but with him were immediately apparent as the one he wanted you to see; the apparent on-off switch he flipped the second he needed to become a character, like watching him vanish before your eyes, leaving someone else in his place. But Natsuki knows there _is_ bucketloads of natural talent there beneath the practice - he was certainly acting circles around Ryuuya when they’d started to appear on shows together 14 years ago (though Syo would argue the contrary, and has on many occasions).

Natsuki knows that compared to most of his group he’s pretty average in the acting department. He doesn’t have the natural flair for it like Masato, Syo and Tokiya, and hasn’t got quite the level of experience that Otoya, Ren and Cecil have. But Reiji doesn’t treat him as inferior at all. He treats him as a worthy peer instantly. It’s intimidating, but helps him melt more easily into his role, helps him _become_ Sino. And thank goodness for that, because the sheer affection he can feel coming from Lazy in waves would _drown_ him if his own character wasn’t supposed to be completely oblivious.

And this is just _now_ , while they’re in casual clothes, in Natsuki’s bedroom. Fancied up, on stage, in the full throws of period aesthetic… it sends a shiver down his spine to think of how powerful Reiji will become. How thoroughly _convincing_ his affections will be.

Reiji stretches as they wrap up their third runthrough of the day. His shirt rides up a little, revealing a sliver of his furry tummy, and his self-satisfied groan transforms quickly into a yawn. Natsuki watches, fond, as he neatly folds and puts away the jumper he’d discarded at some point during their practice. 

“Good work today, Nattsun! You’re already coming on in leaps and bounds, I’m impressed!”

“You really think so?” 

“Uhu uhu, you’re doing super good!! Keep it up and you’ll be stealing the spotlight from AiAi in no time!”

He giggles, heart swelling with the praise. The adrenaline still thrums in his veins from practice and, looking at Reiji, he feels surprisingly optimistic - he decides to take a little risk.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. Not when you’re already doing such a fine job of that yourself.” he says, tilting his head in a knowingly teasing manner. Would this be considered flirting? He hopes so. He’s certainly sure Ren would consider it so, but then Ren did manage to make _most_ things sound flirty.

“Huuuh~? What’re you trying to say, eh?” says Reiji, strutting over and peering around his shoulder, trying to look him in the eye. His expression is suspicious, eyebrow raised - he looks confused more than anything, as though he thinks Natsuki’s trying to mock him but can’t quite believe it. It’s hard not to clam up and backtrack out of worry that he’s accidentally upset him, but he decides, boldly for him, to persist.

“I don’t mean anything _bad_ by it~” he grumbles, pouting in a way he hopes is cute as he shuts his wardrobe door. “Rei’s just so sparkly when he acts is all - it’s hard not to become bewitched by his charm~”

He shoots him a brief look from the corner of his eye, smile coy, before turning away and heading for the door. Reiji looks shell-shocked in the glimpse of him he gets, cheeks slowly colouring - ‘oh good,’ he thinks, holding in his self-satisfied giggles, ‘I guess he _can_ tell if I’m actually flirting with him, if I give him a little nudge.’

It’s a long moment until Reiji follows him out of the room - he has time to put their mugs in the dishwasher before he hears his footsteps trailing after him. When Reiji turns the corner, he looks like a tomato - and perhaps, if he lets himself think hopefully for a second, as though he’s holding himself back from smiling in that huge, goofy way he does when he’s genuinely happy. He meets his eyes for a second, green on brown, before he finds himself tearing his vision away back to rinsing out the teapot - for now, it seems one or two purposefully flirty comments tops is all he can manage before giving back in to his shyer inclinations. 

Reiji _seems_ like he’s fighting for something to say - from the corner of his eye, he seems as though he’s gaping like a fish, or stammering on nothing. He’s _definitely_ watching him - he can feel his eyes on the side of his face, taking him in slowly. He’s honestly always thought he’d find such attention unsettling, but perhaps there’s _something_ about it being Reiji - he finds himself wanting to preen under the attention instead. He sets the teapot in the sink bowl to soak and dries his hands, before purposefully tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. He hears a sharp intake of breath from his left.

Natsuki knows that most of his friends consider him unobservant, but really. Even he’s not obtuse enough to miss _that._ He can’t fight off the little smirk that rises to his lips.

It takes a minute. A not-so-subtle clearing of the throat. But Reiji finally seems to find his words.

“N-Nattsun, I, uh--”

The front door slams open.

“Natsukiiiii, we’re ho~me!” Otoya calls joyously, blissfully unaware of the pair of heart attacks he’s just caused. He launches his bag in the general direction of the table, causing Tokiya, trailing behind him, to grumble as it knocks a placemat onto the floor. Ren barks a laugh as Otoya playfully sticks his tongue out at him.

“Oh, Reiji! We didn’t realise you would still be here!” Cecil says, tone pleasantly surprised. He forgoes taking his shoes off at the door like the others (despite Tokiya’s protests about tracking mud around) to rush over to Reiji and scoop him into a hug. Whatever trance Reiji had been in is (unfortunately, in Natsuki’s opinion) completely forgotten as he suddenly has to focus on not being barreled over by his junior.

“We didn’t _interrupt_ anything did we?” Ren says, expression sly - of all of them, it would of _course_ be Ren who picked up on the tension when they entered.

“Not at all!” Natsuki says cheerfully, though he knows the façade won’t convince Ren - or Reiji, whose eyes burn into the side of his face once more. He flicks his eyes back over to him as he grabs a cutting board from a cupboard, shooting him what he _hopes_ comes off as a look of knowing - an ‘I won’t forget this, and I sure hope you don’t either.’

“I was just about to start on dinner actually - I thought it would be getting to around the time you guys would be back. Sorry I didn’t have it ready for when you arrived!”

“Don’t be silly, Shinomiya, how could you have possibly known? Nobody texted you.” says Tokiya, tidying the chaos left in Otoya’s wake before grappling Cecil back over to the door to take his shoes off. “We can all chip in now that we’re back, anyway. It’s about time Ren contributed to dinner, it’s been quite a while.”

“Ever the mother hen, eh Tokki?” Reiji quips over Ren’s indignant protests. His tone betrays nothing of his emotions, but Natsuki’s practiced with masks - he’s certainly made an impression, if Reiji is really having such a hard time stopping himself from looking at him when all three of his self-assigned ‘sons’ are present.

Tokiya simply jabs him in the side on his way over to the kitchen. “Do you want dinner or _not?”_

Their eyes meet purposefully this time, conversation silent and yet crystal clear.

A raise of eyebrows - ‘Can I stay? Please say I can stay, I _really_ want to stay.’

A small bashful smile, a softening of eyes - ‘ _Please_ stay. I’d like that so very much.’

“Sir, yes, sir!” Reiji declares triumphantly. If he seems more enthusiastic than just two seconds prior, then it’s only he and Natsuki who notice.

“Then get over here and help out with the carrots.”

“Aye aye sir!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love masquerade mirage to death but the way it handles satsuki (at least in the og drama) is somehow even worse than the games _and_ the anime. and the lazy-incest thing is???????????????? the wildest choice  
> fortunately the acting choice i'm having reiji do is an easy interpretation to make of the sequel stageplay (which this fic will eventually dive into) + i genuinely think it isn't a big reach at all lmao that thing is _extremely_ queer coded imo  
> (as a side note, all of the choices natsuki is making for sino are 100% canon to the stageplay, as is lazy being a rich boy and his parents trying to marry him off)  
> either way i know the DID discussions are a little heavy but i thought they were important to do and were a big reason i wanted to do this fic in the first place. hopefully the budding flirting helps to counter balance it :o)
> 
> chain reaction is a song by showtaro morikubo [reiji's va] and i would 10/10 recommend it, it slaps. it's easily findable on youtube if you give it a quick search! show-chan's outfits in it would be strong looks for reiji too lmao  
> i've had the headcanon for a long time now that reiji used to do rock music before aine's death, and also that natsuki was his fan prior to going down the idol route himself. idk i just think it's neat + would explain a few of their similarities!! 
> 
> sorry for the wait on this one btw i was having a little trouble with the next chapter b/c it's a bit different style-wise. the writing is done for it now, but i still have some art to do for it and i want to make a good start on writing the chapter after before i post it. i'll do my best to keep the almost-consistent schedule i have at the moment but i can't guarantee anything b/c unfortunately my job takes up a majority of my time lmao
> 
> chapter title from great expectations by elbow
> 
> [update 02/03/21 - haven't forgotten about this and still very much intending to continue it!! i've started writing the chapter after next, but still got art to do for the next chapter. i've got tales of vesperia (+ tales series at large) brainrot atm though + i'm gonna go insane unless i get it out of my system so it's still gonna be a hot minute until this updates - hope you understand + thank you for your patience!]


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